How to reply to a Craigslist job posting.

With most job-seekers using at least some sort of online resource these days, one would expect that many of the simple ’sins of omission’ from the good ‘ole typewriter days would be gone.

Nope.

I am in the process of hiring some additional IT staff and have posted a very simple job requirement to Craigslist. Why? A) The company I work at is cheap, and 2) Craigslist is FAST when it comes to applicants.

I want to hire people that can read, write, and comprehend written instructions, so I always include a couple of reply requirements in my online job postings that can tell me a great deal about the applicant.

Simple things, such as ‘don’t include web/tracking bugs in attachments.‘ A tracking bug (a logo, invisible pixel, or other artwork) creates a log, somewhere, that can show when I read a resume, opened an email message, or passed the document along to a colleague. I don’t play that, and I let people know, in simple english, in my job postings.

“Include salary history and/or requirements” isn’t too difficult to do, is it? I’m not going to pay person $80k/year if their last job was $40k/year (unless they are REALLY good, in which case I would). The salary requirement shows me an applicant’s skill progression.

Since I am writing this, you can imagine what did not happen. The job posting was put online yesterday, and today I checked all of the applications:

30 Applicants (typical after one day)
25 applicants did not include their salary history/requirements
3 applicants simply wrote “See Attached” in their email response to the job posting
1 applicant did not include his name in his resume. Anywhere in it.

I’d pull my hair out, but I don’t want to go bald.

PEOPLE! READ THE DAMN JOB POSTING! If you do not feel comfortable including your salary history, previous employers, blood type, tell me why, don’t just leave it off.

Did someone tell you to just ‘robo-reply’ to jobs? If they did, don’t take their advice anymore. Make a great first impression: understand what you are applying for, and at least LOOK LIKE YOU CARE.

Want some more common sense resume tips? Sure ya do! Click HERE

Kyle, the Nut, and Envy

What do these words have in common? They are the result of a real, spontaneously created, Burning Man virtual Theme Camp based around a live video presentation of the Burning Man festival in September 2009.

Hosted by Ustream, the live video link displayed a pole-mounted camera near the center camp location. During the week that was Burning Man, this camera was run, at times, in an automatic 360′ pan. When the camera panned across the support tower, users noticed that one of the support bolts was missing it’s nut. From that point forward, people in the chat section of the stream began to make comments about the missing nut, to the point where the unofficial symbol for the group WAS the nut. Talk about spontaneous performance art!

But that’s not all…. Apparently someone named Kyle went missing on the playa, and his mother dropped by the official radio station, Burning Man Information Radio (BMIR), which also happened to be playing on the video stream, and put out a request for Kyle. Voila! We now have the second meme for the stream, “Kyle.”

Combine these two together and you wind up with stories of Kyle stealing the missing nut, Kyle missing one of HIS nuts, the nut kidnapping Kyle, etc…. much fun was had by all.

The last great meme of the stream may be the long-term creation of a REAL theme camp, Camp Envy, named after the folks watching the stream, envious of the other folks in the desert. This ‘camp’ grew over the week and now has its own Facebook page, it’s own dedicated web page (still looking for a web designer, btw), and probably a real on-playa presence in 2010.

The video stream brought together thousands of people from around the world, many who wanted to be at the event but could not; this is technology at its finest.

Next year, in Black Rock!

Links:
FACEBOOK CAMP ENVY
USTREAM chat room
campenvy.com
-greg
(sdmedia on the ustream system)

Troubles? Let me tell you about troubles….

This is a reply to Brian Stephen’s blog entry “What is an E-Rate Approved Vendor’ at Funds for Learning

Troubled? Let me tell you about troubled….

While you may be troubled by the ‘E-Rate Approved’ vendors posting their laundry lists of so-called eligible services/devices, it is even more troubling when these items actually get funded. I have lost track of how many times bandwidth shaping devices from Packeteer get listed on 470s as ’switches’ (funded), and CA schools that issue laundry lists (everything on the left side of the ESL for ‘all sites’) and get funded.

Each year we see about 40% of our requests for biddable information (quantity, type, sizing, hardware/service details) ignored by applicants after three contact attempts (voice and email). We just chalk it up to applicants having pre-selected a vendor before bidding ends. Of course, some of the vendors don’t make it hard to ’select’ them during the bidding process, just look at their websites (if you want our services, just put ’service x’ on your 470, wait 28 days, and then write our name on your 471).

The SLD has a ‘waste, fraud, and abuse hotline,’ also known as the ‘code 9′ line. You can ‘code 9′ an applicant or vendor you suspect of waste, fraud, or abuse of the E-rate program, anonymously. Of course, during the investigation of your call, you name will probably get out. This CAN be used to stop some abusive practices, but in reality, any SMB would be insane to use it. Since I started working with the E-Rate program in 1998 (year 0), my companies have seen many, MANY abuses of the rules. Sometimes the abuses cost us big ($millions) contracts. Did we ever ‘code 9′ an applicant? Nope. Never; and none of the vendors I have spoken to will admit using it; the potential backlash is too great. Everyone talks to everyone else in the K12 market, and all it takes is a SUGGESTION that a company did a ‘code 9′ on an applicant or another vendor.

So we just sit back; we complain, we bitch, and we moan, hoping that someday, someone (but not us) will do something to fix these problems.

I suppose that this is the most troubling of all.

From list of things to NOT do at work.

Don’t do this. Really.

New colleague’s first day at work, and you’re the only person in the office, so YOU get the first few words with the newbie.

It’s all fine and dandy to make small talk, but don’t do this:

You: … and this is where you get your office supplies. just one more question, what is your blood type?

Newbie: What?

You: I just need that information in case something goes wrong with your first-day training. Sometimes, there are some complications with new staff who are not ‘of the body.’ I just need to check the fridge to see if we have a few bottles of your type available.

Newbie: WHAT?

You: Don’t worry, we haven’t had to do any emergency transfusions for the last few months. I’m sure your first day will go just fine, just fine..

Newbie: You’re joking, right?

You: Oh yea, I’m just joking. By the way, the fridge is back here, please don’t use the bottles that have the red liquid in them.

And with that, the boss walks in and takes over the rest of the first day duties. The bottle in the fridge? Just my Crystal Light cranberry mix (I’m on a diet).

Again, Don’t do this. Trust me, it sounds funny (and it was), but it can leave everlasting scars (at least that’s what her lawyer told me).

A Few (supposedly) Common Sense Resume Rules

UPDATE, JULY 15, 2008
Something happened to me the other day that must be added to this list. In fact, this one resume/job tip is SO important it gets the ‘0′ slot on the list. Please, read on.

I was recently looking for two network engineers (by the time you have read this, they will have been hired, so please don’t send me your resume). Specifically, one Senior and one Junior Field Engineer to assist with my company’s installation and service offerings (basic Internet stuff).

Having read over 100 resumes in the last two days, I have found that the following information may help some of you in your resume preparations, I know it will help my sanity for the next batch I read.

0) If your mommy or daddy calls me about YOUR resume, YOUR prospects for a job, or YOUR performance on the job, consider the job NOT YOURS and your prospects
for EVER being hired by me or any department/company I manage to be NILL.

Lets get real here; do you really think it makes you look like a go-getter, a ‘get the job done’ kind of person, a ‘I can do it’ force of nature, a closer, a code-monster, when when mummy or dada calls the hiring manager and tries to bargain for your job? Unless that call is preceded with an envelope containing no-strings-attached $20k in cash (that MIGHT get you a 3-month probation tryout), consider yourself being branded a ‘pansy,’ a ‘douchebag,’ a ‘mommas-boy,’ and a fool. The ONLY thing worse than this is if your parents call me about your performance review, should you be hired. Again, not good.

1) If you are looking to be hired for a professional position, don’t list GRADE SCHOOL achievements, even if they were the biggest thing to happen in your life.
Example: Applicant has seven years of high-tech experience with really top-end stuff, went to two community colleges (good on the resume) but he lists “Honor Role, 6th through 8th grade.”

You have got be F*%##NG kidding me!

2) If you are replying to a posting on Craigslist, your local paper, or even a flyer, please READ and UNDERSTAND what is being asked of you, and reply appropriately.
If I was looking for a salesperson, a help-desk jockey, a phone support slug, I would have asked for it. Those words don’t appear in my job listings for a reason. I’m looking for FIELD ENGINEERS who are willing to travel. A Lot.

Which leads me to….

3) If a posting says “requires XX% travel,” don’t try to negotiate!
There is probably a reason why that requirement is there. Yep, I need folks who can travel. A Lot.

4) READ THE REQUIREMENTS. If it says “Must have current CCNA or CCDA, MCSE,” you better have them, else you are wasting my time.
Don’t waste my time with “pursuing CCNA” stuff. Can it get worse than that? Yep. “CCNA 1997-1999.” So, your CCNA is no longer current and you haven’t renewed it? Guess what? I’m not going to bother calling you to find out. If you want to make people contact you regarding the job, make it so they WANT to contact you based on your skill set, not that they HAVE to contact you to clarify your resume. Some companies will call you back. I won’t, but I will keep your resume and name on file with all of my notations. If you apply again for a position, your name gets run through my database first.

5) You don’t need to use a beautiful template for your resume, but at least use something that has: a logical flow, a consistent use of indentation, bold, italics (ie; STYLE).
Some hiring folks don’t like styled resumes, but I do. I like not reading the same thing in the same format over and over again. Variety is good. Colored paper, however, is BAD. SCENTED PAPER IS WORSE!

6) Dates matter, more than you think.
I don’t make hiring decisions based on age. Doing so is illegal and just plain bad form. Some folks don’t like listing years next to their job history because it makes them look old, like job-hoppers, or because they have been laid-off for a long time. I WANT to see years because:
a) It lets me know the type/era of equipment you really used on the job. Some of my clients use the same hardware and software they purchased in 1990. I need to know that you have really had hands-on experience with it.
b) (evil grin) it lets me know if you are job hopper. I look at this and your certification dates to see if you are a job-cert-hopper. I will ask this anyway if you get past the paper screening, so save us both time and just list it, okay?
c) List when you graduated/achieved certs. DO NOT INCLUDE YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (see #1 above).

7) White space is good!
Leave me some room to write comments about your qualifications, your resume, basic impressions of YOU. If I can’t find enough space to write comments, my writing gets all squished and I will not be able to read it later.

DO NOT EMBED WEB-BUGS (transparent GIFs!) IN WORD(TM) DOCUMENTS!
If you do this, your resume will be thrown out w/o being read. Sure, most people will never notice these things, but I don’t want to be spied on. If you want to know if I read your resume, email me or wait for my call. I will not think that you are a technical expert if you implant bugs in your resume that ‘call home’ to your tracking server. I WILL think you are an a**hole.

9) If the posting asks for a cover letter, send a damn cover letter!
The cover letter is you introducing you. I use this item (or lack of it) as a method of seeing if an applicant is serious about a position (vs. rip/send from a job listing), can put together one paragraph, and can coherently string TWO paragraphs together. Nothing is worse than an email message with “resume attached” as the sole content. It doesn’t look good, not good at all….. Don’t be THIS GUY:

Speaking of attachments…..

10) If you send a resume and cover letter attachment, don’t name them ‘resume.doc’ and ‘cover_letter.doc’
It may never have crossed your mind, but when I need to find a resume, I look for files. If I see a resume named “john-smith-2007-resume.doc’ my mind is happy (hey, I found YOU). If all I see are “resume[1].doc” files, my mind is not thinking happy thoughts, as I now need to open up all of the un-named resume files. Well guess what folks? I won’t waste my time trying to find an unnamed resume. Your perfectly spelled, laid-out, perfect fit resume is in the trash. Your name is important in this life, use its power!

Who the hell am I, anyway?
The author is the Vice President of Engineering at a San Diego high-tech company. He has been in the industry since 1981, screens all resumes and hires his own staff. Oh, and he was in the ‘gifted’ program at his elementary school from 3rd through 8th grade.